Living with you seems like a dream come true. You do things
I always hoped someone would do, but no one ever did, before you.
Even more, sometimes the experience feels like a fate long
planned and predetermined coming true. Like everything that has ever happened,
happened so that these experiences could come true. So that something on a much
deeper level of reality could come true. A grand plan is becoming fulfilled.
I know this sounds irrational, even insane, but I seldom
think it is. The feeling of destiny being fulfilled is infrequent and fleeting,
but when it happens, it is so powerful, I feel sure it is true. It explains
everything completely.
Sometimes this experience feels so beautiful and perfect
that it seems artificial, like it is designed to convince me of something. But if this experience is artificial, then
everything that has ever happened has been artificial and contrived to convince
me too. I feel a sense of swirling horror. It is so terrifying that my mind seems
to involuntarily shy away from the idea.
But then, I make a gesture, I caress or somehow express
affection for you, and your reaction is so loving, perfect, and beautiful, that
I am reassured, and once again simply bask in the wonder and love of life with
you.